20 Years & Broken China

My partner and I just had our 20th wedding anniversary. The traditional gift for 20 years is china. I find darkly ironic, since we've either purposefully or inadvertently broken dozens of china and glassware over the past 20 years. China would indeed be a poor choice if you choose to send us a gift.

Eddie and I met online, in a Philly-based AOL chatroom. I typed, 'Does anyone here have anything interesting to say?'. Eddie messaged me privately, and said, 'Hi. Want to see my snake?' As I was typing a 'fuck off', he sent a photo of his ball python, not his 'snake trouser'. We chatted on the phone for a week, until one rainy Sunday he asked me to visit him in Philly. I just got home from church where I was being slut-shamed by a bunch of uptight housewives and still grieving my Dad's recent passing. So a random rainy Sunday drive into the city to meet some nice guy I met online, was a welcome distraction. Even if he was a weird reptile owner and I'd end up in his oven.

After an hour and a half drive, he met me outside wearing a vampire 'Love Sucks' t-shirt. He seemed familiar, like an old sweater or favorite mug. So familiar that I abandoned all reason and climbed four flights of stairs to his apartment. Movie posters. A wine velvet loveseat. Entirely too many horror action figures for a 25 year old man to own. Stacks of Penthouse mags, because 'the former tenant didn't forward their mail'. An angry iguana who shit all over a kitchen. We walked to the corner market for Ben & Jerry's, picked up greasy Chinese food and a DVD from Blockbuster Video. And fucked - so much that the DVD's menu song went on repeat for hours. The next morning, after badly fried eggs and no-coffee, he asked me to be his girlfriend. 'Sure, why the fuck not'. What else did I have going on?

A backyard wedding, two kids and a smattering of near divorces, foreclosures, jobs, family losses, affairs, broken dishes and 9 homes - later - we made it to 20 years, the year of china. We should have broken, many times, like those Target-brand plates I loved, but we didn't. Why?

I'm too deliciously lazy for the effort divorce will require. We still have remarkably dirty-sweet sex. When not fucking, we argue. And when we're not arguing, there's Ben & Jerry's. Take-out, DVDs. So another 20? Sure, why the fuck not? There are more dishes to break, love to make, and DVDs to watch.

Things, love, people - don't have to be perfect to be good. Maybe all the breaking apart needs to happen, for the good shit to fall together - just like a mosaic made from shattered china. Broken hearts, broken dreams, broken china - but after 20 years, still a beautifully broken work of art.

xoxo,

Rebel Bloom